...chasing the heart of God... -

Possibly more fun than a stream of consciousness...

Wed, 3 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I am so glad you all enjoyed the randomness that was in my head last week. There is more where that came from!

But...this just may be even better! Because I am the original, ultimate blog stalker I read every single stinking blog on the website. There are a few that I skim over for sure, but I still really enjoy reading about the antics on the field.

Maybe it is because I spent having 2 years having stories myself, but I am addicted to reading about what the Racers are doing, where they are, who they are meeting, etc...I found myself reminiscing about the Philippines this morning reading a blog that looks eerily similar to some of my adventures in the Philippines. I miss it so much!!

I know sometimes the site can be overwhelming to look at and try to find blogs, so I thought I would send you a few of my favs each week. Enjoy!!

** Caitlin Parker is in the Philippines having the time of her life.

**Martha Lempke is in Uganda seeing the healing and loving power of Jesus.

**Lindsay Fox is in Asia and has a hilarious way of sharing about life on the field.

Stream of Conciousness

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Plain and simple: I am a blog stalker. I may be eligible for a 12 Step program. It is true.

Why are we so interested in what is happening in other people's lives? Is it like the "grass is always greener" principle? We can escape our own madness by reading theirs? Or is it because our world is so small sometimes that it is refreshing to expand our horizons every now and then?

Would love to know why you are reading blogs. Why are you reading this? What do you like reading about? I have a few favorites that I always end my day by laying in bed and just checking in on their blogs. Post a comment if you want to know who i read and I will send you the links. Some are hilarious, some are thought-provoking, some are people I don't agree with, some are people I want to be like, some are just nonsense!

My personal favorite kind of blogs are Stream of Conciousness blogs. Just random thoughts in random order. Like a sneak peek into their brains. Kind of like watching a ticker tape screen go across their forehead. Here is mine:

I love green M&M's; bought a whole new bag and just yesterday pretty much devoured it. Really should stop doing that so I can stop complaining about my pants not fitting. I love taking up new sports-so I am obsessed currently with swimming. Although I hate the fact that the lifeguards are always watching. The whole time I am paranoid that they think I am a terrible swimmer. I wonder how many laps it takes to swim a mile. Wonder if I can stop doing ab workouts if I keep swimming. Why do the women in locker rooms insist on walking around in just tiny towels. I may be scarred for life. Bought a new pool bag for $12 at Target last night!

I really need to clean my room. It looks like an atomic bomb went off and is depressing. Something about never putting my suitcase away helps me feel safe. Always on the move. Besides, I hate the scary attic and really hate putting my suitcase up there. I wish i was better at memorizing scripture--i pretty much stink at it. But I am trying. Now if i can only decide what to memorize. Any suggestions?

I love the Glee Soundtrack! Although I wish my stupid new bluetooth speaker-thingy would just work! Jake Hamilton is my new obsession. Love that guy. He can worship like a mad man!

Haiti: what YOU can do

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

For the most part the evening news has moved on to stories of Olympic glory and Maalox woes; it is so easy for us to be out of sight and out of mind. Every evening CBS tells us of a new "crisis" or the impending "crisis" and slowly Haiti fades from our memory.

I am choosing to refuse to let it be a memory, another tragic event somewhere "down there", or another thing that is horrible.

I am choosing to let it change me.

I am choosing to be broken.
I am choosing to not forget.
I am choosing to BELIEVE He is Good.
I am choosing to KNOW that He longs for restoration in the land of Haiti.

I am choosing to be a part of something bigger than my little world.

One of the things I love most about working with Adventures In Missions is that when there is a need, we as an organization immediately begin working to respond. And that includes everything from collecting donations to mobilizing people to actually go.

This morning, one of our directors who just got back from Port-au-Prince yesterday, told our staff: "We didn't initiate the Kingdom there. We didn't single-handedly bring it. It was already present. God is already moving, and the people are responding to Him. And the people of Haiti are releasing the Kingdom into their own nation. But God is inviting us to be a part, and to join with them as a family, as the Body of Christ. We aren't going to be their saviors; we are going to support them; to show them we love them. It is our honor, and our privilege."

Sweet and simple: If you want to go to Haiti, AIM is taking teams consistently for the next 6 months. If you want to go, we want to help get you there. If you know someone who wants to go, please pass this along to them.

This page has all the listed trips available as of now. Most are 7 days, some are 9, some are 14 days; for the next 6 months

This is the main site.

Take 3 minutes to watch this practical video on what your time in Haiti might be like. And let me know if you have any questions, or if you decide to go!

"Welcome Home"

Sat, 6 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

"Welcome Home". These were the first two words uttered to me by the immigration officer at the Nairobi Airport. "Welcome Home."

A quick flip through my passport showed him I had been in and out of Kenya twice before, so he was simply making conversation with the nice Mzungu (white girl). But there was such a deep resonating in my spirit that I could only smile and try not to cry.

My three months in East Africa were life-changing for me last year. You can read about my African Love Affair and see how much I LOVE Kenya and Uganda. It really was like I was coming home. It is hard for me to even try and sit down and explain why I love it. There really aren't words to describe the smell: BO mixed with burning trash, or the sounds: chickens, honking horns, singing, or the sights: a slow-moving busyness that doesn't really make sense to us, giant buses crammed way over capacity. It is just Africa. And it felt like coming home.

My week there was a quick whirlwind. We did 5 days and nights of teaching, one FULL day at church and hopped right back on the plane. In a blink it is over and I am freezing again in my bed in Michigan; greeted again with more 'welcome homes'.

The paradox of it all is overwhelming.

The Ultimate Litmus Test

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

"So, i am going to raise the dead."

Always a great conversation starter; or a conversation ender. Never can tell what kind of response I might get.

Here is the deal: I really do believe it. I believe Matthew 10:9 when Jesus says: "raise the dead". I believe it when Jesus says that if we have faith in Him we will do even greater things. (John 14:12) I just believe it.

I haven't seen it happen yet. I practiced once, but the lady was old and we are pretty sure that she was resting with Jesus and he wanted her to just hang out with him. But we still gave it a whirl.

I still wrestle with the "why should we want them to come back to this earth? Aren't they better off in heaven?" argument. I really am not sure how I feel about a lot of things these days. But I just know in my knower that one day Jesus will raise the dead through me. I just know.

"So, I am going to raise the dead"

I have started a few conversations this way lately. I kind of use it as a litmus test of sorts. I can almost immediately tell how the rest of the conversation is going to go. You know all those fancy psychology tests that are floating around? The theories discussed in books like the Outliers and Blink? yep. This is like my own personal litmus test.

I have had 2 semi-blind dates lately and both times I have tossed the ole' "so I am going to raise the dead" out there. And yeah...both times I have not gotten called back! ha! A smarter person may stop using the line, but not me! It actually kind of keeps me going. I know I want to date someone that may go on crazy, dead-raising escapades with me, so might as well toss it out there.

I was teaching recently at the World Race launch in New Zealand. 110 brand new racers. May have been a little early to toss around the "dead-raising" plans, but at least they know who they are working with, right? There were a few stunned faces in the crowd. And there were quite a few that were right there with me.

Friends and family have pretty much given up trying to figure out my wild ideas. So they just kind of nod and smile.

But Jesus, my Jesus, He is sitting up there cheering me on and screaming "get on with it!!!!" And His opinion is really the only one that counts.

Can we be the answer?

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Last year i stood on the side of a mountain near Mianyang, China and wept at the devastation of a earthquake. I held the hand of a woman who had lost everything; sons, daughters, home, job, etc...in that earthquake and cried with her. It didn't make sense then and I am not sure it makes sense now. I will never forget her looking up at me with tears in her eyes and asking me "Why?" I didn't have an answer. I am not sure anyone could stand there overlooking an entire city that was destroyed, countless lives lost and come up with a coherent answer. Instead I cried with her. I prayed with her. I hugged her.

As reports of the loss in Haiti just keep coming my heart feels that same familiar tug. I have cried for the people of Haiti and all that they are living through. It truly is a nightmare. I have had numerous conversations this week with family, friends, and people in my community. Somehow the conversation always leads to "why?" and there still is not an answer.

I personally am horrified at some of the seemingly pat answers that many Christians are giving. "Jesus will come back and make this right", "Haiti asked for this", "God is punishing them" have all been heard/seen on recent news or in articles and that may just break my heart even more. I don't believe we can just give nice Sunday school answers and nod our heads while we sit in our warm houses with cabinets full of food.

I KNOW my God to be GOOD. He is a GOOD GOD and a faithful God. I can't even imagine how His heart is breaking for the people of Haiti. But I also know He has asked ME and YOU to be His hands and feet on earth. He has asked us to partner with him and dig into His people.

We have been working all week to develop feasible options to serve Haiti.AIM is launching a huge effort to make a long-term difference. Creating opportunities for short-term teams will take a lot of details and information that you can't get unless you are there. Somebody has to go in first.

I've been working with many people to organize a team of World Race Alumni to go into the country, and they are leaving this Thursday.

They are going to pray. They are going to minister to those they meet. They are going to tell their stories.

And this is only the beginning.

Will you help us? Will you help send this team of Alumni out to help pave the way?

We have asked each Alumni who is participating to buy their own plane tickets to the Dominican Republic. They are getting friends, family, and supporters to help them with that. In order to cover ground costs and ministry needs (any opportunities to meet immediate needs like food, water, and blankets) we have set up a special project to accept donations. Please pray and give! We need your help to pave the way. Please give to this project to help this team of Alumni!

Go to this direct link to give: https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc= (this is also accessible by going to www.theworldrace.org and clicking on the "Donate" tab on the homepage. Hit the button that says, "click here to give!")
Once you're on this page, change the program on the drop-down menu to a "World Race Project." A new box will appear, for a description of the project. Please have supporters put WR HAITI as the name of the Project.

We're asking that all Alumni help us raise money for this Project. Reach out to your personal networks of family and friends. If you've watched the news, read the blogs, and wondered what you can do... please do this. We absolutely need you to make this happen. Please give abundantly and sacrificially.

In addition to financial support, this team will need a special covering of prayer. Pray for safety. Pray for open doors and clear communication. Haiti has always been a spiritual battleground as well. There is a war in the heavens for this nation and they are sure to experience it firsthand in the coming week.

praying for Haiti

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Yesterday the country of Haiti faced tragedy.

A 7.0 magnitude earthquake hit the capitol city, and thousands are feared dead.

In 2008 they faced 4 different tropical storms/hurricanes. Floods. Mudslides.

They've had political unrest for years.

The spiritual climate is very dark because of the many followers of Voodoo.

It's not an easy place to live.

And now this...

How you can help:

Give a Gift

Click here to give a tax-deductible financial gift for the purchase of supplies needed for first response (food, blankets, shelters, basic health care, etc.).

Give Haiti Prayer

Continue to pray over the country of Haiti, over the ministry that we're establishing down there, and for physical and spiritual restoration.

text, video, and photos courtesy of Ashley Musick and http://updates.adventures.org/?filename=help-provide-relief-in-haiti

dear J squad...

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

There once was a girl having a very grumpy day. It seemed her phone rang off the hook day and night, she had bazillions of emails, and she got to make a lot of hard decisions. She LOVED every minute of it, but sometimes she was overwhelmed. And in the dark quiet hours of the night a little doubt snuck in about what she was doing and why. Those pesky little voices saying nasty things like "why don't you get a real job?" and "you know this really isn't making a difference"...you know the ones. Those nasty doubts that we all battle in some form or another.

One afternoon she arrived back home and to her surprise she had a giant envelope. Filled with notes of love and encouragement!! Not only notes of encouragement, but notes of TRUTH and FREEDOM. Notes of changed lives. Notes of making a difference.

There was a funny story attached about dark, cold nights in Israel and crappy handwriting because of hand cramps. But there was LOVE in that envelope. It literally seeped into the rest of the day and week. It invaded and BLASTED out every doubt, every dark thought. It brought tears of joy in place of tears of frustration. It brought a sense of peace into chaos. LOVE changed everything.

The END.

You guys absolutely made my day, my week, my year!!! I can not begin to express what simple notes of encouragement did for me. Thank you for speaking truth, loving well and making my day. I have never been so sure of what God is doing in you and through you. Thank you for being a squad that honors so well.

I just heard a sermon on how a miracle culture can not exist without a culture of honor. You guys are living it. You are a culture of honor and I so believe in you. I BELIEVE you will raise the dead! I BELIEVE blind eyes will see. I BELIEVE freedom will come to everyone around you. Get out there and do the stuff. I am prophesying some BIG stuff into your time in Africa. I can't wait to see you and hear testimony of what God has done through you.

Colossians 1:3-14 is what I am praying for you guys right now. Love you!!

World Race Christmas

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

If you have read blogs for any length of time you know that the World Race kind of has a culture of it's own. Language, clothing, food, etc...all is really kind of strange to the typical American. We use funny words "kingdom" "press in" and "intercession". We definitely don't dress like normal people; earrings make a whole NEW outfit, and one pair of pants is plenty for 11 months! And food, well, let's just say that peanut butter is a delicacy and REAL coffee is to die for!

All that being said, Christmas on the WR is anything but normal. 2 years ago I was on a beach in the Philippines. Pretty sure we ate cat for Christmas dinner and I beat Brady in a Korean-chicken fight for a chocolate bar! Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Last year I returned to Kenya for our squad Christmas celebration on New Year's Eve. We had a "snowball fight", a sing-a-long,and of course...Santa!

This year I am celebrating at home and enjoying every Peppermint Mocha, snow-covered car, and delicious cookie I can find!

World Race culture is nothing if not famous for making ridiculous videos in all our "spare time". Thought these might entertain you this year. Merry Christmas!!

The who/what/when/where/how/why part of the story

Wed, 9 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Your biggest questions answered. All the details that are confusing. The BEST part of the story.

Last week I was able to share a little peek into my heart and what has been happening and what God has been doing. It has been glorious and difficult all at the same time.

The details of my actual daily activities are similar: difficult and glorious! Here are some frequently asked questions and some answers!

WHERE do you live? I am currently living in Port Huron, Michigan at the World Race house. The WR has a house in PoHo (as we affectionately call it) that serves as both office and living staff for many of our staff. Beginning in January we will have about 12 staff living and working in the house. I share a bedroom with the awesome Kelly Chadwick (www.kellychadwick.theworldrace.org). It has been really good for me to move back into a community environment and begin to live out so many of the lessons I learned on the WR.

WHAT are you doing? Since returning to the US in March I have been on WR staff serving the Field Support and Leadership Development areas of the Race. I handle most of the inbound and outbound communication for the 200+ Racers on the field. I get to personally be involved in their challenges and victories. I also handle development and support of all our squad leaders and team leaders--everything from recruiting, training, and caring for these amazing leaders. I have NEVER worked so hard or been so busy, but it is the most rewarding job I can imagine.

WHY do you travel so much? I love airports! Just kidding. Airports and I actually have a love/hate relationship. I LOVE them because it is one of the only times I allow myself to drink Starbucks. I HATE them because I am constantly stuck in them, missing flights out of them, and sleeping in them. :) In all seriousness, my travel schedule has been ramped up as I travel to many of the launches of new teams on the field and out to debriefs for teams currently serving on the field. While traveling I encourage, rebuke, challenge and train many, many racers. The BEST part of my job!

WR staff friends in Ireland

The June 09 Squad at the Awakening event in Romania.

HOW do my support dollars help you? It is no secret that I continue to raise support to work with the World Race and count on you lovely readers to help me. I have been STUNNED by the way you continue to love and care for me financially. Every dollar that you give towards my support account helps me to continue to serve around the world on WR staff. Money raised through my account allows me to have a salary that provides for my basic needs: food, gas and general living expenses. My travel expenses are not paid for by your dollars, but are provided for by the teams that I am serving. My support goal of $20k per year allows me to earn a annual salary. (link on left sends a tax-deductible donation to my support account).

WHO are you serving? RIght now in the field there are close to 200 racers with another 110 waiting to begin in January. Each of those racers is supported by the WR staff in multiple ways (logistics, marketing, field support, etc...) By serving as support staff I am allowing the racers the opportunity to impact hundreds of lives. Hundreds of racers touching hundreds of lives = thousands of lives changed around the world. Supporting me has the ripple effect of serving thousands of people. It is a beautiful process to be a part of and I am constantly humbled to be counted among those chosen to serve.

The best part of this story is the community aspect. I absolutely can not do this alone. The Racers need us. The nations of the World need us. The Kingdom of God needs us. I need you. I need your prayers. I need your financial support. I need your cheerleading. Every single one of us is an integral part of the story. What is your part of the story?

Please comment or email me at johnston.allison@gmail.com if you have more questions I can answer. I realize how remiss I have been to share with you some of these important details and am so grateful you have continued to be a part of this story with me. I plan on a new and improved version of blogging to continue.

Yours for the journey,
Allison

The who/what/when/where/how/why part of the story

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

As I wandered through my journal looking for an empty page I went on a journey thru the past few months. I began this new journal almost exactly 6 months ago and it is life-giving to me to wander the pages and see the places the Lord and I have walked these past few months.

I would be lying if I said it has been an easy season. I feel like the "re-entry" we prepare all the Racers for hit me like a ton of bricks. 2 years of the World Race and I was trying to sort through a normal life, whatever that is. Someone asked me "what do you like to do?" and I didn't have an answer. I don't know what I like to do. I know what the old Allison liked to do. And I know what the World Race Allison liked to do. But this Allison. Who knows what she likes to do. Somewhere between delicious American food and clean clothes I guess I forgot to ask her.

Anyways, I wandered the pages of the journal and I saw a few underlying themes: intense travel schedule, hunger for Jesus, and the FAITHFULNESS of God. I was all over the map the past few months. Figuratively speaking and quite literally all over the map. I don't usually intend to share my journal with perfect strangers, but it seems to be a good representation of where my heart has been lately

This week I want to share what's on the horizon, where I live, what I am doing, and answer all your questions, but this is a really great place to start.

5/14/09 Heathrow Airport: "I want to be more in love with Jesus. I want the intimacy with the Lord that the late, greats write about. I want more teaching, more anointing, more impartation."

5/20/09 Romania airport: "Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised." Romans 4:20-21

5/26/09 Plane ride to Atlanta: 2 Corinthians 1:20 "For no matter how many promises God has made, they are YES in Christ. And so through him the AMEN is spoken by us, to the glory of God." What are some of God's promises to me?

**He will pour out his Spirit. Joel 2:29

**His love will not be shaken, or his covenant of peace removed. Isaiah 54:10

**He hears our prayers. Psalm 65:2

**He has loved us with an everlasting love. Psalm 46:7

**He comforts his people and will not forget. Isaiah 49:13

6/24/09 Home! "I am making some life decisions and they seem hard. I just know I want more Jesus. At the end of the day it is not about going one way or another. It is not about the answer. It is about the intimacy that the relationship will create. More Jesus!"

7/3/09 Plane to Guatemala: "I have been begging Him to take me to new levels-to love him in a new way-a deeper way."

8/7/09 Gainesville, GA "I feel like I can't find my footing. Everything around me is shifting, but I know tat God is my rock-steady and un-changing."

8/31/09 Costa Rica "I will always show you where to go, I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places-firm, strong muscles and bones. You'll be life a well-watered garden, a gurgling spring that never runs dry." Isa 558:11

9/29/09 Bucharest, Romania "For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of."

Have you wandered the pages of your journal lately? What has God said, what is he saying? I am learning so much about his goodness and faithfulness, even just writing this blog! He has so much planned...I can't wait to share!

Happy Thanksgiving!

**Feel free to hit the SUPPORT ME button on the left side if you still want to get in on the $31 special!

The number 31 is special.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Well, the number 31 is special to me, anyways.

In a few short days It will represent the number of years that I have had breath in my lungs.

It represents the kind of woman I want to become (Proverbs 31)

It represents one of my favorite verses of all time : "BE BRAVE. BE STRONG. DON'T GIVE UP." Ps 31:24 MSG

It represents the number of countries I have visited.

It represents the number of World Race Teams we currently have serving on the field.

31 is a special number.

This year for the first time in 3 years I will celebrate my birthday in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!! I can't begin to explain how excited I am that I will NOT be in China eating an unidentifiable object posing as a birthday cake. The past 2 years I have somehow found myself in China for my birthday and let's just say CAKE is not their specialty. 31 is the number of funfetti cupcakes I plan on eating in the coming days! I will sit in my Mom's kitchen and eat delicious cake and celebrate with my amazing family. We will talk about the past 31 years and all the crazy things I have done (raft the Nile, anyone?), and all the insane ideas I have had (WR 2 times, anyone?) and all the ways the Lord CONTINUES to blow my socks off! We will honor him for every breath, every idea, and every moment of insanity!

31 is a special number.

This year for my birthday I am asking Him for 31 X 31 more years of life. 31 X more of HIS presence, 31 X more supernatural power and provision, 31 X more of HIM. I want HIS dream for my next 31 years.

31 is a special number.

I hope that 31 can be a special number for you, even if just for a minute. I am going to ask that 31 of YOU to put 31 $$ in this account on the left. 31 dollars a month from 31 of you will almost fill my account each month and allow me to continue training, equipping, empowering and serving the 31 teams of World Racers.

Can 31 of you give $31 each month for the next year?

Can 31 of you do it today as an extra special birthday surprise?

I sure would be 31 X 31 super appreciative!

31 is a special number!

PS- the real day of my 31st birthday is Nov 25th. :)

PPS- I really thought that by the time I got to the end of this blog and typed 31 a billion times I would come to terms with the fact that I was going to be 31, but HOLY COW!!!! How did I get to be 31 years old?!?!

PPPS- feel free to add digits behind the 31, like $131 :)

Speak LIFE!

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

The book of James talks of the power of life and death in the tongue. We can SPEAK blessings or curses on people, nations and movements. On the field we teach about SPEAKING life to ourselves, our teammates, and the places in which we minister.

The nation of Swaziland has been under the shroud of death as HIV/AIDS rocks upwards of 50% of their population. This week we have the June squad in Swaziland and they have had the unique priveidge of SPEAKING literal life into a little one.

From Tiffany: tiffanyberkowitz.theworldrace.org

I had just sat down on one of the mattresses in the common area of where we live to watch an episode of "The Office" with some of the girls. I had never seen it before, and thought a little mid-day bonding over popcorn and a show sounded pretty good.
Five minutes into the show, William and Matt walked in the room and asked the question... "Are there any girls who would want to go with Pastor Gift to deliver a baby?"
I think after the initial shock wore off... I jumped up faster than I ever had before. I looked at Erin who had also jumped up and started pumping my fists in the air and screaming with so much excitement. Within a few moments, six of us girls were piled into White Chocolate (the old white van we drive around) and ready to go.
We picked the mother up from her home. Her name is Gamane. She was already in a lot of pain and could barely walk. This is her story: Her mother was a prostitute, so she is a direct product of that lifestyle. Her mother was born again and now looks down upon her daughter, disowning her because of the lifestyle that SHE has now chosen... the life of a prostitute. Gamane, only 25 years old, is now pregnant with her 5th child, and has no idea who the father is. She is HIV positive, and has no money or food for the baby.
So we get her into WC (White Chocolate), and started comforting her.

Erin, Kelly, Hannah, Kimi, Cori, and myself began to ask her questions to try and take her mind off of the pain. Erin suggested that I sing to her. So I sing. "You are the source of life, and I can't be left behind.. no one else will do.. I will take hold of you. I need you Jesus to come to my rescue. Tell me where else can I go? There is no other name by which I am saved, you capture me with grace. I will follow you." She was put at ease for a few moments.
The hospital was about 45 minutes away... and we were making good time.
Her contractions were getting closer and closer together. Kel started to time them, and they were about 1 minute 45 seconds apart. Kimi checked and said she wasn't that far along, and literally 30 seconds later, I look down... and see half of the baby's head!
Every one screamed "THE BABY IS COMING!" and hardly even 10 seconds later.. the whole baby was out. It happened so fast!
Pastor Gift was yelling to us to shut the windows, and wrap the baby up. We didn't have anything! Luckily, Hannah had decided to layer that day (so fashionable, that girl). So she took off one of her shirts and we wrapped the baby up.
A girl. A beautiful, beautiful baby girl.
I was crying. Bawling. Harder than the baby. It was the most beautiful... disgusting... thing I had ever seen.

Pastor Gift told us to get the baby to suck on something, so Cori stuck her finger in the babies mouth, and she began to suck on it. Everything was normal, the baby was healthy. Then Gamane's cousin grabbed my hands and told me to help her push. We had to get everything else out of her... the umbilical cord, the amniotic sac... (I will spare the gory details for those that can not handle it).
It was insane.
We asked her what the baby's name is going to be, and she said that she didn't know. Then she told us that we could name it for her. We all got SO excited. We talked and prayed about it for a few minutes, and then decided on HOPE... which is Litsimba in Siswati (the language here).
The reason behind it is obvious. We believe that there is hope for her life. Hope for a NEW life, and that she is going to bring that Hope to Swaziland. Gamane loved it.
A few minutes later, we pulled over on the side of the road. There was no buildings around us, no people... just cows. A lot of mountains, and a lot of cows.
We had a flat tire.

A young woman laying on the back seat of White Chocolate, fluids and blood everywhere, a baby bundled up on the blanket, six girls who have no idea what to do, and a flat tire.
And a lot of cows.
Pastor Gift changed the tire... with a tire that was even more flat than the one that was on it before. We tried to flag a couple cars down, but no one would stop.. so we did the only thing we could do.. we drove. Welcome to Africa, friends.
From the moment we puledl out, you could see the lines from the rim of the tire grinding into the asphalt. 15 minutes later, we arrived at the hospital and handed them over to some professional care.
She is HIV positive, so she can not breastfeed. We walked to the store and got some milk. Gamane asked who was singing to her in the car. I told her that I was. She said that she didn't know what was going on around her, and that all she could hear was the song, and that it helped her through everything. I cried again. We prayed over Gamane and Hope. We prayed for her little life... for God to invade her heart, then said our goodbyes. We couldn't fix the tire, which was shredded at this point, so we hitched a ride in the back of a truck and headed home.

I was thinking about the beauty of life. The miracle that it is. And then I was thinking about the tragedy of her situation. There were so many thoughts... so many emotions. It was so beautiful, and so sad.
Pastor Gift is looking for a family to take care of the baby. They may have found a home, but I ask that you all pray for Gamane and baby Hope. God has a plan for her. And Gamane saw God's love through us in a way she never had seen it before. I could see the glow of the spirit all over her. Pray for redemption in her life.

I don't really understand it all. Life. Death. Struggles. Victory. Hardships.
But I do know... God... is in the midst of it. Of it ALL.
He was there. He is there. He sees Gamane. He sees Hope. He loves them. He has a plan. A purpose. He does for everyone.
We are blessed.
Because we are alive.
And we have Him.

Leaving a Legacy

Tue, 3 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

In Feb 2007 Ryan Stewart was on the World Race and came across JUSTINE. His heart was moved with compassion, and like Jesus, he desired healing and so much more for her life. Read his account here: http://ryanstewart.theworldrace.org/?filename=justine.

There were so many times on the Race where you meet a person and they become so special to you. They become a part of you, a piece of your heart remains with them and you carry them as you move forward. I experienced this in multiple countries last year. The "Rev" in Uganda, Pastor Antonio in Guatemala, etc...time fades, but the memories of these people never really fade. Justine had this impact on Ryan.

Because of this heart connection, last year when he saw that another World Race team was going to be in Puerto Barrios, Guatemala, near Justine, Ryan wrote the team and asked them to follow up if possible.

Tara Stephenson, from the July 08 squad picked up the story from there. Needless to say, details in the 3rd World sometimes are sketchy and the team went on a wild goose chase to track down Justine and found her! http://tarastephenson.theworldrace.org/?filename=the-search-for-justine-starring

Just this past week, the World Race has yet another team in Puerto Barrios. Ryan emailed the leaders and filled them in on his connection with Justine, and they too went searching. What they found brings all of us such joy. http://andreawendel.theworldrace.org/?filename=finding-justine

The stories like this are what keep me at my desk, answering phone calls, responding to emails, getting on airplanes, and living this nomadic lifestyle. This is what the World Race is all about.

Stories like this are what Jesus is all about.

Reflective Running

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

When I go running one of two things normally happens to my brain: 1. It completely shuts down or 2. It kicks into high gear and I am extremely reflective. When it is the latter I can typically compose upwards of 4-5 blogs at a time and can pretty much solve world peace while I am at it. Today was one of those days.

I remember when I was preparing to go on the Race the first time the most popular question I was asked was "there are plenty of people here that need help, why do you have to go overseas?"

Then I returned 11 months later and the most popular question was "well, when are you going to apply these things you learned and teach them to people here?"

Last fall I decided to lead a Race and go again and of course, the ever-popular question: "what about the people in your city that need help?"

As I jogged along this morning admiring the shiny BMW's and Lexus' parked in my neighbor's driveways it hit me.

THAT is what I am doing!

I have been trying for literally months to figure out a way to communicate what I am doing, why I am doing it and how I need some help. I have written and erased at least 5 blogs that for some reason could not adequately describe the heart-pounding anticipation I have when I think about the World Race. It has been hard for me to express why I think the WR is the best vehicle out there for motivating my generation into action. Hard for me to express how understaffed we are and how I have been working harder than I ever have in my life to keep this thing chugging, hard for me to express how I see life change and world change in every racer that I meet. Hard for me to express just what goes on at training camps and debriefs.

All last week I was in GA for the largest training camp to-date (120 racers!!) and I came home tired and ready for a break. So off I went this morning on a run and i realized how I could share with you. I just needed to tell you that you were RIGHT!

It IS happening here. There are many, many people HERE that need to know. The ones sitting in their cubicles wondering "is this it?", the ones sitting in church pews wondering if this is the abundant life Jesus was talking about?!?, the ones wanting to make an impact with their lives.

Over the last 12 months more than 300 people from our country have been exposed to the "whisper" or the "rumor" of something more. 300 people have launched onto the World Race for the 1st time. 300 people have been given a chance to go after God in a way they never knew possible. 300 people have gotten up from dusty church pews and out of cubicles to go and see about this abundant life. 300 people have traded their D&G wardrobes for a 50lb backpack and cold water showers. 300 people have been touched by the Spirit of God.

To all the people who have asked, "why not here?" You were right. And we are doing it here.

Can you help?

Ilsa

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

My dear friend and sister Andi Wendel is out in Guatemala right now, serving as a squad leader for the October 2009 World Race Squad. This is a blog she posted today that I have to share with you... because it's a powerful depiction of the fact that God's DNA is made up of restoration and redemption, and an example of how He is going to the darkest places of people's lives through us as His Bride... all so that people can experience love, freedom, and grace to KNOW Him.

Hope you can take a minute to read:

This young lady is mentally handicapped. Her name is Ilsa. She is 26 years old. She lives in an orphanage that resembles hell. She sees in the spiritual realm. There is a battle raging in and around her.

We were there only to clean the grounds yesterday. But I could feel the Spirit leading me to the girl's dorm. I walked into the main room of the girl's dormitory at the orphanage, which looks like a 1940s psych ward at a creepy hospital. There are two old metal school desks at one end of the room. A chair in the absolute center of the room. And a TV barely hanging onto the wall at the opposite end. There was one person in the whole dorm. It was Ilsa. She was standing about 4 feet from the chair looking directly at it. Frozen. Tormented.

I walked in very slowly. She turned and saw me. She immediately started backing into the corner, terrified of me. (Note that we have been here before and have met her before. She knows me and has hugged me and played with me before). Not yesterday. She backed away abruptly. I stopped, dropped to my knees, and laid my palms open before her. She still backed away.

She got to the wall, and positioned herself directly under the TV, facing the chair still. I stayed kneeling on the floor about 5 feet from her. I started to pray. In English and in the Spirit. Nothing.

I started crying. I couldn't help it. She had such fear all over her. Her eyes kept darting around the room. She was seeing tormentors. I kept praying. I started singing. I was sensing sexual spirits. Harassing spirits. It was awful. I was in pieces before her. She just kept staring, eyes darting.

I said, in English, 'God loves you.' She shook her head, 'no.' I choked up. I said it again, in English. 'God loves you.' Again, a certain head shake, 'no.' I said it again, 'GOD LOVES YOU.' And again, a head shake.

I felt led to get up-- go to her. Slowly. Very slowly. Very humbly, low, peacefully, gracefully. She hesitated. I started singing. She stayed. I moved a little closer. She shook her head. I prayed in the Spirit. I cried out. PEACE! IN THIS ROOM IN JESUS' NAME! I sang.

She let me come closer. I reached out my hand, palm up, slowly. She shook her head. I waited. Sang. She looked up at me. Something was breaking. Leaving. I reached my hand closer. She shook her head more. I couldn't wait any longer. I rested my hand on hers. And an outpouring of the Spirit came off my tongue over her in tears and song. She started to cry. I kept praying peace. I stayed beside her for a long time.

Finally, something disarmed. She calmed. I felt a release. The atmosphere changed. Ilsa started to move, not frozen anymore. Another girl walked into the room. She started talking to me and Ilsa-- looked at me and made the hand motion for, 'she's crazy,' to me-- and my heart broke even more. I yearned to know enough Spanish to say, 'yes, but she sees more clearly than the rest of us do.' I could only get out, 'yes, but...' with some hand motions signifying more.

And I approached Ilsa again. Had my palms out once again, and she received me. Came to me. Hugged me. Clutched me. And clung to me. She smiled.

-----

So, I don't have a pretty conclusion to this. I just know that the spiritual realm and battle going on is very real. And I know that love trumps it all.

This says it all

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I am in Gainesville catching up on emails, phone calls, and other random asundry items in this week between Guatemala launch and the next training camp.

There are definitely days when I wonder how I got here, should I be doing something else, wouldn't it be nice to have a 401K and even a decent salary?? And then there are days when I see things like this and the answer is crystal clear:

Awakening: A video

Mon, 5 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Our time in Brasov, Romania for the Awakening was beyond words. Worshiping with 200+ Racers, teaching by my favorite teachers, sharing meals with co-workers and friends; it just doesn't get any better. It was an incredibly hard week for staff as we ran around organizing sessions, logistics and all the other moving parts of a major conference, but absolutely worth it when you examine the fruit of the week.

FREEDOM. LIFE. PASSION. DREAMS.

Corporate Prayer for Tara!

Thu, 1 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Many of you know by now about Tara Reed, the June 2009 World Racer who was injured while on the field last week. She's recovering really well and will not need surgery; however, the doctors' reports that are coming back are saying that she's going to be immobile for several months.

That's not acceptable.

So as a community we're asking you to come together and join us in prayer for Tara's complete healing! We're a body of believers that does not limit God and we have the faith that Tara can come into complete healing. So here are the details:

What: Prayer for Tara's COMPLETE Healing
When: Friday October 2, 2009 @ 7:00pm
How: Be creative! Invite friends over for a movie and beforehand, pray! Include Tara in prayer before your Friday night dinner. Send her an email via her blog. Help spread the word on Facebook. Let's join together in prayer!

We'll continue sending updates, but in the meantime, you can read more of Tara's story here. Leave Tara a note on her blog to let you know that you're thinking about her!

Please Pray for Tara

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Tara Reed is a racer on our June 09 squad. I just spent last week worshipping with this awesome fireball and was traveling back to the US when I got a phone call about an accident. Please join me in prayer for 100%, complete and TOTAL healing in JESUS' name.

Here is her story:

It all happened so fast. One moment, I was sitting on the 2^nd floor balcony having my time with God, the next moment, I was falling helplessly towards the pavement in Bucharest, Romania. I hit the ground. As I lay there gasping for air, all I could do was call out the name of Jesus. I heard people yelling my name, and I told them I couldn't breathe or move. After lying in agonizing pain for about 25 minutes, the ambulance arrived and people gathered around. They stabilized me and put me in the ambulance, while my team was calling out prayers for me. My teammates followed me in a taxi, while in the ambulance I was crying out to God to take the pain away and let me walk again. I then realized that I could move my arms and legs, and I thanked the Lord. He had saved me from head injuries, paralysis, and even death. As they wheeled me in to the Emergency Room, it seemed like 13 doctors and assistants surrounded me, all speaking "Romanian" to me in loud voices as fast as possible. One doctor said in broken English, "We take off your clothes now", then looking at the pain in my face, he said, "we cut off your clothes now."

On the way to x-rays, one of the doctors asked if I was a Christian. I told him "yes", and asked him if he was a Christian. He said "yes". I said, "Isn't it great to know that God loves you and you can feel His love?" He said, "God doesn't love me." I explained to him how he is God's child and that God does love him, and then I prayed with him. (We have found that although over 90% in Romania claim to be Orthodox Christians, many have never experienced God's love).

After x-rays and ct scans, I found myself in a large open room with many other patients and doctors. The man in the bed next to me screamed out in pain, saying "stop!!!please don't!!!" The doctors were having to re-set his arm. As the doctors walked away, he was whimpering in "gypsy". I began singing to him the only song in "gypsy" that I know, "Nadeek tu", which says that we are all the same in God's eyes and he loves us. The man settled down and fell asleep.

After many conversations, prayers, and pain medication, I was admitted into the hospital. Damaris, Tiffany, Heather, and Scottie stayed with me in the hospital all night. I didn't receive any more pain meds that night, but the girls prayed and read Scripture over me all night. The Dr. came in and explained that I had fractured my pelvis and it was separated and would require surgery. He told me that within three months I would be able to sit up in my bed, and would gradually improve. We continued to pray and sing songs to God, as other team members came and left, but God surrounded the room with his presence and peace.

"Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6

God made this familiar verse truly come alive in my life.

As news leaked out, people began praying all around the world. My mother and friend headed out from Phoenix to be with me. The rest of my I-Squad had to leave for Turkey, and the decision was made for Dan and Becky to stay with me. What a beautiful ministry it has been! It has been incredible to have them there to comfort me and help me in so many ways. Dan & Becky spent one night in the hospital bed next to me and assisted in duties such as bed pan duty, holding hands during shots, making sure the bathroom was clean, talking with the Doctors, and more. We spent most of our time praying for each other, and praying over other people in the hospital, and making cards for others in the hospital. It was incredible to see each of us have our own ministry with different people in the hospital yet still love on each other as family.

On Monday, the Doctor took another x-ray and this time the results showed four minor fractures, but it was no longer necessary to have surgery! God again shows himself faithful and He is the great healer!

God made my favorite Psalm come alive.

"I love you, Lord; you are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my Savior. My God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from my enemies. The ropes of death entangled me; the floods of destruction swept over me. The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path. But in my distress, I cried out to the Lord; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his santuary; my cry to him reached my ears...He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters...He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me...You light a lamp for me. The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness. In your strength I can crush any army; with my God I can scale any wall. God's way is perfect . All the Lord's promises prove true. He is a shield to all who look to him for protection. For who is God except the Lord? Who but our God is a solid rock? God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect. The Lord lives! Praise to my rock! May the God of my salvation be exalted! -Psalm 18:1-6, 16, 19, 28-32, 46

God is a great God and I trust Him.

TO BE CONTINUED.....

The Awakening

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I have been in Brasov, Romania this week for the AWAKENING, a worship experience with over 200 World Racers. Time and sleep have been a little lacking so I am sharing Seth Barnes' blog with you about our week.

The setting

Brasov is a beautiful old town with medieval roots three hours from Bucharest. You take the road or the train through a spectacular Carpathian mountain valley to get here. The racers have set up their tents in a camp on the outskirts while the coaches and the rest of us stay at the Atlas Hotel, site of our daily meetings. The weather has been perfect. In the afternoons we go into the old city and sit at cafes with large umbrellas on the cobblestone streets. You could travel the world and not find a nicer place for a conversation.

The people

Racers from four different squads, plus a number of alumni and staff are here - 220 in all. Some are two months into their experience and some are a couple of months from finishing. The atmosphere is electric - they connect with one another on so many different levels. They've discovered their tribe and are loving it.

Our daily schedule

We meet in a room downstairs just big enough to hold us all seated on the floor. Kim Daniels, Chris Telfer, and Matt Snyder lead us in a worship service for about an hour and a half. Then we break up into teaching times in 3-4 venues (I've got one). The racers are eager. They ask good questions and dive into the subject matter.

Afternoons are filled with debriefs. We have an evening service and Andrew Shearman has been preaching his signature message, "The 42nd Generation." After the service, we minister.

Tonight, the place was up for grabs. Ministry was happening all over the place. The Holy Spirit was landing on people and they lit up like fireworks. It was one of those rare times.

After it was done, the racers headed to the old city for a night of connecting, singing karaoke and story telling. They are having a blast.

Bottom line

What we're experiencing here is combustible. Every morning I teach on "kingdom dreams" and the stuff that comes out of these young people is amazing. I left a country that seems stuck in a rut of negativism. The deficit situation, the health care mess, and the rising unemployment rate conspire to give you a bad day. Out here the racers own very little, but they are anything but poor. They are experiencing the reality of the abundant life that Jesus promised. It's pumped me up just being around them. God is up to something and it's a thrill to have a part in it.

For those of you who have been praying, thank you! I wish you could be here with us. It felt unreal tonight. Young people are coming alive in so many different ways. We're truly seeing the kingdom come.

This week...

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I am in Brasov, Romania helping to lead a prophetic worship experience for ALL World Racers:

The Awakening

"You're here because there's a whisper...

...a rumor of another world that compels you." - Michael Hindes

We are a generation called. We walk with an understanding that the Kingdom is at hand and the irresistible calling of that destiny exposes the insatiable desire for something greater. The World Race is part of that destiny, part of that movement that something larger than ourselves is brewing...and we can't help but run after it.

September 21- 25, 2009

Four World Race Squads at various points in their pilgrimage...

Racers who have gone before who hear the whisper...

Spiritual fathers and mothers devoting their lives to the awakening of a generation...

It's time to wake up.

For three days, we will pursue the things of the Spirit.

We will pray.

We will worship.

We will war.

We will intercede.

We will break.

We will commune.

We will become.

We will share, challenge, call, bind, release, speak, listen, exhort, prophesy, see & watch

Final Wrap-Up

Wed, 9 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I spent last week in Costa Rica with the October 2008 racers for their FINAL DEBRIEF! This was the very same squad I started on the field with last October and I can hardly believe it has been 11 months!!

Seems like just yesterday I was standing in the LA Airport wondering why in the World I was doing this again. Why in the world was I climbing back into a sleeping bag and tent? Why in the world was I agreeing to live 5 more months out of a very tiny backpack? Why in the world was I giving up rights to personal space and showers? WHY???!?!

God didn't take long to answer my questions.

I had the absolute BLESSING of doing life with these amazing people.

They have taught be about giving and receiving unconditional love. They have taught me about earning respect vs. commanding respect. They have taught me to lead from brokenness. They have taught me to lead even when I don't feel like it. They have taught me how to give and receive feedback. They have taught me that I am NOT really cut out to be a hardcore World Racer. They have been Jesus to me over and over again.

I wish you could meet them and just hang out with them for 11 months. i know they would change your life.

They changed mine.

ps--if you believe in this as much as I do...would you click here for me?

Oh! The Places we GO!

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I am still trying to catch up from 2 weeks of training camp and 1 week in Ireland. My apologies for the long pause in blogging; I promise I am working on getting better! Again, I sit here with so many thoughts--which should I capture and share and which should I let pass for now? How much to share, how little to share...it is all a balancing act I guess.

My week in ireland is hard to describe. The 84 new racers that we launched there were excited, ready to go and challenged. I am not sure if you have noticed yet, but we don't teach nice little "christian" things. We challenge every paradigm they have known, we challenge their theology, their motivation and even their physical comforts.

I smile inwardly as they grapple through the questions and try to find solid footing on sliding pebbles. I can only smile because I know what will happen on the other side. I KNOW that the brokenness eventually leads to destiny. I KNOW that the questions will only lead to more questions. I KNOW that 11 months later they will walk fully alive and in love with Jesus. I KNOW it. Because I have lived it.

Tomorrow I board another plane bound for Costa Rica. 11 months ago I hopped a plane with these fun people and started their journey with them. Tomorrow begins their journey home. I will join them for a week of debrief and celebration. It is bittersweet as I can't believe it has been another 11 months. 48 more back on American soil. 48 whose lives are so completely different than 11 months ago. 48 that will enjoy carpet, warm water, and ice for the 1st time in a long time. 48 out who will bring LIFE and KINGDOM everywhere they go. Will you pray for them? Pray their families recognize them. Pray they rest and enjoy everything America has to offer. Pray they transition smoothly. Pray they see Jesus everywhere they look. Pray that this just becomes the next month and the next step. Just pray for these awesome people that i really, really love!

Watch this!

Sun, 9 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I have been in GA for two weeks training the next batch of racers...46 crazy, fun people getting ready to change the World in October! Tomorrow I hit the runway again for 10 days in Ireland to launch the August racers (84 of them!!!) Life has been a whirlwind of worship, counseling and teaching.

The Lord has done some amazing things this week in the lives of these racers and it is always such a blessing to watch. While in GA we rolled out the newest World Race Promo video and I wanted to share it with you here. It gives me chills to remember why we do what we do.

Sacrifice - part II

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I am packing my suitcase for a few weeks in GA and then on to Ireland. By the middle of August we will have trained and launched 140+ new racers out into the World. It brings me so much life to hang out with Racers on this side of the adventure. They have absolutely NO idea what they are getting themselves into and it is awesome!

It reminds me of the months leading up to my first race. The anguish over what to pack or not pack, the selling of the condo, the horse, the truck.....I will never forget the last time I turned the key in the lock of my condo and walked away. I was completely alone and everything I owned was crammed into the back of a Honda. I remember wanting to appear calm, cool, and collected, but instead I was sweating and hysterical crying. Not my best day! I remember thinking "what in the heck am I thinking? why did I think this was such a good idea???" There were a few other people wondering that too!

I remember believing that i was SACRIFICING my life for a year. I would give God a year and then He would give me everything I had been wanting. My idea of sacrifice was a begrudging attitude and a limited time period. My sacrifice did not come from an attitude of worship or gratitude. I thought I would make God happy by giving him this little year and then I could be back on my way again--with my plans.

Every time I am at training camp I look around the room and wonder how many sitting there are just like I was. How many are hoping to "put in their time" and then return to their lives? And I smile.

There are not words to express the gratitude I have for this journey. I can't explain how much the Lord has taught me and my bad attitude about sacrifice. I can't explain how that one "little year" was the beginning of everything.

And as I look down the road and see a whole lot MORE of sacrifice, I am beginning to realize I really had no idea what sacrifice looked like. And honestly, I still really don't. Yet, the Lord continues to take me on a journey. He shows me only the amount I can handle, let's me work through it, and then asks for a little more. He is so persistent, yet so gentle.

Julie wrote me this week about her views on sacrifice and they express perfectly what I am learning:

The theme seems to be that to obey and to love is better than sacrifice. i think because sacrifice carries a dreadful connotation - destruction of something, something lost or given up, death, something bloody and messy. i know the Lord asks us to give things up, but i like the idea that it comes out of relationship with Him and it is our spiritual act of worship. He is so amazing that He didn't create things in such a way where we follow strict rules or have to have pain and death all the time to please Him. He so much prefers a love offering, an offering birthed in the heart, something that comes from the love affair rather than a ritual of burnt offerings. Obedience comes from knowing His voice, sacrifice comes from a formula. The presence of a relationship transforms sacrifice into obedience that is rooted in love. At least that's how it works in my head.

The other side is that sometimes obedience feels like sacrifice. and in reality it often is - things are rarely worth more than they cost you. it's a fine line b/w the two. but the beauty is that our Dad always has our absolute best in mind. So even when it's hard or when it hurts or when we don't understand, we can rest in the simple truth, that without doubt, it is for our good. His love is so pure, it couldn't be any other way.

Your prayers are so appreciated in the coming weeks. Three weeks of non-stop travel and training! Pray that we would have wisdom and discernment and JESUS would always be glorified.

This is ALWAYS welcome too!

Sacrifice - part I

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I am missing my blogging community and staying connected with all of you out there in blog-land. It seems the fast pace of life and my lack of ability to prioritize has hampered me from blogging as often as I would like.

It seems like I have nothing to say and so much to say all at the same time. I am really having a hard time lately processing through the things I want to share with you, and how to effectively share them. Instead of sitting down to figure it out--i just usually get up and go get ice cream. Great coping mechanism, huh?!

The Lord has really put some things in my Spirit and I am still not sure how/when to communicate them, but I do feel that there are things He is showing me that I want to put out here for discussion. I most certainly don't have it figured out, and I honestly don't even know what I feel about some things, but it is worth a shot!

One of the major themes I have been working through lately is SACRIFICE. It is a thick subject and this is not a comprehensive list, but the Bible has a lot to say about sacrifice:

But Samuel replied: "Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ? To obey is better than sacrifice...1 Samuel 15:22

When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would send and have them purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, "Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts." This was Job's regular custom. Job 1:5

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. Psalm 51:16

For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings. Hosea 6:6

To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices." Mark 12:33

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1

I could go on and on with Scriptures referring to sacrifice. Lately I am examining it in regards to my life. What is He asking me to sacrifice? Have I given enough? Is there ever enough? Wasn't Jesus the ultimate sacrifice? What does that mean for me? Just when I think I can't sacrifice another thing, He asks for more--why? Is the posture of my heart right before him? Am I obeying Him?

As I wrestle through these GOOD things I want to stay better connected with you. I want to hear what God is speaking to you and share what He is speaking to me.

grace and peace.

Allison

Heartbreak

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Brian and Stacy Alonzo are fellow racers, fellow leaders, and fellow world-changers. They have giant hearts of compassion and a cry deep within them to BE the change. They put together an awesome video on one of the biggest issues our world is facing. I beg you to watch, cry, pray, and ask the Lord how He wants to use you.

"Simply put, if you're not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it good-bye, you can't be my disciple." Luke 14:33 (Msg)

Antigua!!

Wed, 1 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Antigua, Guatemala has to be one of my favorite cities in the World. I wish I could take you with me to explore the cobblestone streets, eat delicious crepes and meet some of the wonderful people of Guatemala. I spent a month last year living in Antigua and returned a few weeks ago for a quick trip. Every street held memories of my time there on the race. I drug my traveling companions to random restaurants where I had had life-changing conversations, or life-changing burritos!!

We walked past the hospital where I held children that were handicapped and malnourished, but so full of joy. We wandered the market where we made friends with the locals and tried all the delicious fruits of Central America. Every step was a memory and reminder of God's goodness.

I return there this morning for a few days of debrief with the Oct 08 squad and the June 09 squad. I would love your prayers as we travel and share our hearts with these awesome Racers. I am spending the next 5 days with 80+ WORLD CHANGERS. Pray that the Lord would give me wisdom and discernment. Pray I would know when to speak and when to listen. Pray that Jesus would be glorified in every conversation and every prayer. Pray that in the next 5 days the KINGDOM of GOD would advance in powerful ways.

The June 09 squad is scheduled to move on to Nicaragua, but because of the political unrest in Honduras we are holding them in Guatemala for the time being. Pray that peace would come to the people of Honduras and that God would reign in that country. Pray that we would be able to safely transition the squad into Nicaragua.

The October 08 squad is in their final two months on the field. They are so precious to me and I could not be more proud of all that God has done in them and through them the past 9 months. Please pray that they are refreshed and energized for the final 2 months and that they would be used in mighty ways.

The Line

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Last weekend found me standing in line in one of my favorite stores on the planet. I was purchasing something I really wanted, but probably don't need. I mean, I definitely wanted it, but didn't need it in a "life will end if I don't have this" kind-of way. As I stood there casually chatting with a few people I gazed around at all the other people standing in line. The line to check-out was long and even spilled over into the rest of the mall.

The people standing in line were looking slightly peeved and probably more than a little annoyed that they were standing in line on a Saturday afternoon. Most of them were well-dressed, looked to be fairly well-fed and didn't seem to be suffering any kind of apparent physical conditions. Just normal people standing in line on a Saturday in the mall; just like me.

**And then I promptly had a freak-out.** Cue the shaking, sweating, "I have to run out of this store NOW" kind of freak out. Conveniently my friends bought the "I am just going to find the bathroom" excuse that I whispered really quickly as I dashed out the store. (Thanks to a little creature I picked up in Guatemala last month it is not uncommon for any of us to just dash off to the bathroom--but that is a whole other story!) Anyway, I escaped to the bathroom where I proceeded to talk myself down and pull it together.

The kind of line I am used to looks a little more like this:

Women and children in Uganda walk miles and then wait in line for hours in hopes of seeing a doctor.

I stood in line with hundred of residents from Mianyang, China to look at this. The sight of the tragic earthquake that killed so many.

A line of my favorite Filipino ladies that found Jesus when we were there in Jan 2008.

A line of people mourning the death of their Savior in Antigua, Guatemala last Easter.

Strange to me the things that can trigger memories like this. Strange to me that standing in line in a mall can take me back to standing in line after line with people who were just trying to survive. Most lines I have witnessed over the past two years involve hopelessness, pain and suffering. They are filled with people who need the basics in life: food, water, or medical attention. They are filled with people who have been handed the worst possible scenario in life.

And there I was standing in line in the mall.

I find it getting increasingly hard to balance these two realities. Everything I have read, or heard, or learned about re-entry the past 2 years has indicated that it gets easier with time. I disagree. I have more and more moments of "how can this be?", I am more and more aware of the plenty that I live in, and I am more and more questioning how I am lucky enough to be born an American. The tension here is that I have a choice. I can choose to live frustrated and jaded, wondering why more people don't realize what is really happening out in the world, or I can choose to be the change.

Gandhi's words have become so overused that we see them in greeting cards or hanging in little plaques on our walls, but they ring so true in my heart: "you must be the change you want to see in the world." It begs the question: am I being the change? Are you being the change? I pray that we are.